To our friends and family,
Let me first start with what this open letter is about. This is something that I feel is necessary, to clear up a very important issue that I believe needs to be addressed publicly. Chris and I are very lucky and very blessed to know, work with, be related to, be acquainted with some very wonderful people. Make no mistake, we are very appreciative of all the time, attention, and generosity that everyone has so graciously given us. We try very hard to make sure that everyone knows we are truly grateful.
It has recently come to my attention that someone we hold in high regard was quite disappointed in us when a small, simple request was made and we didn’t respond in a timely manner. When we were reminded of the request that had been forgotten, we felt horrible! It truly was a very simple request and we failed. So now I would like to take the opportunity to shed some light on just where our attention is these days and why small things are being overlooked.
This household has been turned upside down. This may sound like I am making excuses for forgetting things and maybe I am, but please do not presume to think that just because we did not respond to something in a timely manner that we do not put you in the highest regards. Chris has been the sole person running Tech Support at Parallax for quite some time now. For those of you who do not know what that means, it means that he and he alone answers ALL of the Tech Support email, ALL of the Tech Support forum questions, ALL of the Tech Support calls, ALL of the merchandise returns that need to be tested and many other things that I am sure I have forgotten. Just a few days ago, two new people were brought in to be trained in Tech Support so that Chris will finally have help. But those people need to be trained and Chris is going to train them on top of all the work he is already responsible for. Add to this, Chris also runs his own website, Savage///Circuits. Many people make many requests of him there as well for tutorial videos and whatnot. Now add to this, just over a month ago he was faced with the news that his wife is dying, losing her battle with cancer. Quite frankly, I’m amazed the man has not cracked yet!
Now lets give a glimpse into what is going on here at home. I have always prided myself on being not only strong mentally and emotionally, but strong physically as well. I have spent my life being able to get through anything life had to throw at me. Even when I didn’t feel good I never let it slow me down, I was like the proverbial “bull in a china shop”. I had no problem staying on top of everything that needed to be done here at home, laundry, cooking, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, weeding, etc. Not to mention that when Chris would work from home I gladly took it upon myself to check on him regularly to make sure he was comfortable, ensuring he always had a full glass of water and that all his snacks and meals were ready for him. I know that some women are ashamed of calling themselves a “housewife” but not me. I LOVE being a housewife and all that comes with it! Then came the news that turned us both upside down and shook us to our very core. I’m losing my battle with cancer. Make no mistake, just because Chris and I can smile and laugh and joke about my situation to keep our sanity, things are by no means easy. In fact things are hard. Very hard! And they are getting harder with each passing day. Let me explain…
I think in a previous post I mentioned that I developed a cough around the beginning of November. That cough has gotten progressively worse. In the last nearly three months my cough has gone from an annoyance to something that resembles pneumonia mixed with asthma. If I get up and walk around the house just to do normal everyday things, I become very short of breath, my breathing becomes very labored as it feels like my airways are being restricted and I begin coughing. Not just a little cough, but violently coughing. The kind of coughing that makes your back, ribs and stomach just hurt. Sometimes these violent coughing episodes trigger debilitating spasms in my back, ribs and stomach that literally are so bad that I can’t even breathe until the spasm passes. Now imagine how helpless Chris feels having to watch me go through all of this, knowing that there is absolutely nothing he can do to help me, other than just make sure the episode passes one more time. So this brings me to the fact that because I’m having an increasingly difficult time doing everyday tasks around the house, the responsibility is falling on Chris’s shoulders to do what I cannot manage anymore. So as if that isn’t enough, lets throw a little more weight on the wagon. I will be starting chemotherapy soon. How does that come into play here you may ask? Well it’s one more thing that is going to consume Chris’s time and attention. He will have to drive me back and forth to all of my chemotherapy appointments. And because he is a great husband, he will be sitting there, holding my hand as I get pumped full of toxic chemicals once again. This is going to require more time away from work, away from Savage///Circuits, away from home. So once again I say, I am surprised that the man hasn’t cracked under the increasing pressure.
Chris and I are desperately trying to manage juggling all these big issues every single day. And at the same time we are trying keep all of our friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances, etc. up to date on everything so no one feels left out. All of this is completely and utterly exhausting. But we still smile, we still laugh, we still joke in an effort to make the best of an incredibly horrible situation. So where am I trying to go with all of this???
Little things. Small requests. Things that you may think are so simple that it would take no time at all for us to do for you. We are EXTREMELY forgetful these days. And unfortunately it’s little things that are the most easily overlooked. So if you make a request of us and we don’t answer you within a couple of hours, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, I beg of ALL of you, send us a reminder! Text, call, email, whatever it takes! It’s not that we are purposefully ignoring you. We are just overwhelmed with trying to juggle so many big things that we are going to need your help and understanding AND LOTS OF REMINDERS! We don’t want any of you to feel as if you are bugging us if you have to send us a reminder or two (or twelve) of any requests that you have made. But likewise if you do need to remind us repeatedly about something PLEASE don’t feel like we are avoiding you, or don’t want to help you or are not putting enough priority on you. We really are doing the best we can and unfortunately we are going to slip up here and there and it’s only going to get worse. So on behalf of Chris and I, I ask that you please be patient with us. It is because of the love, friendship, kindness, generosity, prayers and support that all of you show to us that we are able to keep going. We humbly send out to all of you, our deepest gratitude and heartfelt appreciation for everything, everyday! We couldn’t do it without ALL OF YOU! We especially thank you for your patients and understanding as we fumble through all of this!
Hugs! ~Wendy & Chris~