Waiting for confirmation of bad news can really take a toll mentally and emotionally. Sitting by the phone, waiting.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013 at around 7 pm the phone rings and it is the doctors office.
Nurse Practitioner: Hi Wendy just wanted to call to let you know your test results are in. Do you want me to tell you what I know?
Me: Yes, please tell me everything.
Nurse Practitioner: Okay well it’s good and bad news. Good news you have what’s called DCIS – Ductal Carcinoma In Situ. Bad news is it’s High Grade.
This was pretty much all the information I was given at first. So I jump on the PC and visit “Dr. Google” to see what I’m in for and from what I found it didn’t sound so bad. I was feeling pretty good that this was going to be no big deal. I got an appointment with an awesome surgeon for the following week so all there was to do now was wait to see the surgeon, or so I thought.
Another day goes by and I get a call that I have been referred to a Doctor by my Nurse Practitioner because she would feel more comfortable to get a second opinion on a gynecological issue that may require a biopsy to check for endometrial cancer. (Another biopsy, at the OTHER end? Are you kidding me?) So I go to see the MD and sure enough he recommends an endometrial biopsy. A few days after having the biopsy, one more quick trip to the doctor due to some bleeding and well, long story, short no cancer detected at the other end. *Happy Dance*
Wednesday, May 15, 2013, I meet the man who will become a very important part of my life. My cancer surgeon. He is tall, broad shouldered with a comforting smile and makes me feel at ease right from the get go. He first asked me how much I was told. So I gave him what information I was given, that I had high grade DCIS. His response, “Well that’s not entirely accurate. DCIS is how this started. You have high grade Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma that is hormone receptor negative.” He then proceeded to break it down so I understood a little better what was going on. The cancer was invading the surrounding tissue. Cancer has three grades; low (grade I), intermediate (grade II) and high (grade III). Of course low is better but mine is grade III. Another grading scale is the SBR score with up to three points in each of three categories. The highest possible score is nine. Again low score is better, but me being…well, me I scored a perfect nine! I looked at the doctor at this point and just smiled and said “Well I guess if you have to be good at something…” The poor man wasn’t sure whether to laugh or not. But seeing that I wasn’t falling apart he chuckled and said, “Well I’ve never quite heard it put like that but okay!” He then told me how important a positive outlook would be for me as he explained the next part.
Triple negative breast cancer. This is a more rare form of breast cancer that isn’t treatable with most of the popular conventional breast cancer drugs such as Tamoxifen or Herceptin as this particular cancer does not feed off of the hormones estrogen and progesterone. It also does not have have too many HER2 receptors. This is why it’s called triple negative breast cancer. This type of cancer can be a nasty little bugger. It tends to be more aggressive, more likely to spread and more likely to reoccur not just in the breast area but in other parts of the body as well. Since this is an aggressive cancer they tend to treat rather aggressively. Surgery and chemotherapy are a must and depending on the situation, possibly radiation. “Awesome!” (said with as much sarcasm as I could muster!) ;P My last question to the surgeon was about, time. I asked “Okay Doc how long do I have to make my decisions about surgery? Are we trying to play Beat The Clock here or do I have some time to think this over?” Again he chuckled and proceeded to said that he would give me no longer than six weeks to make my decision and schedule surgery. He doesn’t want to see me go any longer than that before treatment starts.
Time to start making some hard decisions. Lumpectomy means automatic radiation therapy and if the Doc can’t get clean margins, more surgery to take more tissue. And if the margins still aren’t clean, more surgery until the margins are clean. Or mastectomy on the right side and as long as the cancer isn’t in the chest wall probably no radiation. Bilateral mastectomy, if I choose this route I don’t have to worry about going through this again within the next few years on the left side. AND I don’t have to worry about walking around lopsided from being left heavy! HA!! (yes, I have a sick sense of humor) Oh and another positive thing about bilateral mastectomy, NO MORE MAMMOGRAMS!! YAY!!
Next on the list of decisions…
“To reconstruct or not to reconstruct? That is the question.”
My first thought on this….Reconstruction on me would be the equivalent of building two brand new bouncy houses at an amusement park that’s falling apart! Gravity is cruel and everything would be sagging except for the new perky chest. I think NOT! No reconstruction for me. I’m done with them. But I do want to add that I really have a wonderful husband. When I approached him about this delicate issue his response was “It’s your body. You decide. I just want you to live.” (Cue the waterworks) Now THAT is true love right there. A man willing to part with the “fun bags” so long as his bride makes it to see many more tomorrows.
So friends, that where we are at. Make some tough decisions and then call the Doctor to get this ball rolling. I will update again when I have made my decision and have a surgery date.
Thanks for coming along. =)
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